Supportive Parenting, Education, Motivation

Supportive Parenting, Education, Motivation

Whether one chooses to be a street sweeper or chooses to be a biologist, if a person is truly motivated to do something they love, they really can be anything they want (within reason).

I spoke with my friend Marlene whose younger sister, 25, is graduating from college in a month or two. Her sister's passion is biology. While taking college courses over the past few years, she found it hard to maintain a 2.8 or above grade average, which the college reacted by giving her the almighty boot. Instead of giving up, she went back to community college to bring up her grades in order to try again for a Bachelor's Degree in biology; it took two times of going back to community college but she has done it, she will now be receiving her Bachelor's Degree in Biology. She had to pay for college on her own and took on several jobs in order to finish, she did whatever it took to become what she wanted to be. I find her motivation and drive very admirable. What if she would've given up after being kicked out the first time? I suppose she'd be working at a job she could tolerate or hate just to make it through life like so many other Americans.

One of my other friends has a daughter graduating with a Bachelor's Degree in History this Saturday...her daughter, age 20, was completely unschooled until age 16 when she chose to enroll in our local community college's dual enrollment program. To be completely unschooled means that her daughter never once had any lesson forced upon her for her entire childhood, she was allowed to do she wanted which happened to be a lot of reading and writing and playing. Even though her math skills fell a bit short, the college had a basic math program that enabled her to "catch up", and though she did not know a lot of grammatical terms, she flew through English classes as well. Her passion is history and next she wants to go for a Masters Degree. What an amazing young lady!

Two girls who were educated at opposite ends of the spectrum, their commonalities? Supportive parents and motivation. I am proud of both of them, however...

I am not one who equates graduating from college as THE end all, be all of *success*, but rather I equate *success* on a per person basis. Money may make life easier but it does not always equal happiness. Whether one goes to college or enters the military, if they are a stay at home mom or a waitress, a street sweeper or a doctor, so long as they are happy, IMO, they have achieved success.

I think it is crucial for parents not to be dream/passion killers; we can offer up our $.02 but we need to tread carefully when it comes to what our children are motivated to do when they are older. If the world is against them, making them feel unworthy and/or stupid, we should be right there telling them, "You can BE whatever you want to be, do not allow others to ruin your self-esteem".

One thing our society has done over time, and that I feel needs to be changed, is sometimes we tend to want our children to soooo badly go to college, that we pressure them into going and if they don't, not only do they feel like failures in the eyes of their parents but failures to themselves. Teenagers are not stupid, they know college is there should they CHOOSE to go. There are a lot of people I know who had such a strong distaste left over via traditional education that the last thing they wanted to do was go for another four years once they reach the age of 18. Many of these people have gone back in their 30's and 40's and they are doing wonderfully! Most are surprised to have learned that college is more about choosing what you want to learn rather than being forced to learn a bunch of things in which you have absolutely no interest. This is not to say that the college attendee never has to do anything they don't want to BUT if their passion outweighs their loathing of a certain subject, it won't matter, they will do whatever it takes in order to graduate in their chosen field of study.

What about the child who does not choose to go to college? Be supportive anyway, maybe they'd be happier in a non-college orientated field. Encouraging them and letting them know that if they are not happy they can switch jobs, start their own business, etc., you are doing your job.